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Industrial strength DREAD!

I never knew menopause included scary moments like that, I was coping well with hot flashes, and some sleeplessness by eating a lot less and exercising more and taking my vitamins, all was going very well - until the DREAD.

A few months ago I walked into my living room with a cup of tea and a book. All was well in my world and I was going to sit and read for a bit. Suddenly, a surge of adrenalin let me know that something terrible had happened, and that I had to rush somewhere, for something extremely important. I quickly put the cup of tea and book down and started freaking out. What was wrong? I could barely take stock of events in order to figure out that NOTHING WHATSOEVER was wrong. It took me quite awhile to concentrate and think about each person in my life, and think about what they were doing, that they were OK and that there was no emergency.

It felt like I was ignoring some matter of life or death, so it became a full blown panic attack even as I was trying to calm myself down and reason with myself. I felt at that moment the kind of panic and craziness one feels when a close loved one has suddenly died--I felt like I was falling off the world. This only lasted 20 minutes at most, but it was forceful, and it scared me. I didn't tell anyone as I thought it might be some mental illness creeping into my life. I ran into a woman, a stranger, a month later. We started talking about everything, which was odd, as she was a stranger, but we just "clicked". She was a year older than me and I asked her about menopause. She described a panic attack exactly like the one I had, and I said "OH! That exact same thing happened to me!"

I was so RELIEVED to know where that industrial strength feeling of DREAD had come from. HORMONES! I never knew menopause included scary moments like that, I was coping well with hot flashes, and some sleeplessness by eating a lot less and exercising more and taking my vitamins, all was going very well--until the DREAD. Now I know that IF it happens again, I will just sit down and wait for it to pass, rather than freak out and have it ruin my week worrying about it.

I remember when I was pregnant - at 5 mos. I could not read the newspaper or watch TV news without sobbing hysterically. Every bad thing that happened just put me in despair. This despair only lasted a few weeks (and I never told anyone about it, figuring it had to do with being pregnant). But the way I got wound up so fast, I never forgot about it! I have never had PMS, so I consider myself lucky.

Dee

 

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Updated  05/15/2010