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18 years and No Light at the End of the Tunnel

No two women are the same, nor should they be given the same treatment. I am not the same as my sister. HRT works perfectly for her. I would like to think that somewhere there is a treatment that will work for me.

Menopause started 18 years ago (when I was 50) and continues. The hot flushes have lessened but my body at night is hot and my sleep pattern is broken. If I sleep for 3 hours straight I am having a good night. Death can sit at the base of my bed at 3 am and try to drag the life force out of me. Sleep deprivation leaves me always chasing energy. The mood swings, when I strongly feel that everyone around me are complete and utter idiots, are hard to live with. But one of the hardest things to live with is my loss of loving emotions which have been replaced with a repugnance for closeness with my nearest and dearest. Don't touch me; keep your distance is what I feel now. Depression and doom dog me day and night, and I pray constantly for release of all these symptoms.

I started HRT therapy when I first began menopause. It altered the workings of my mind, giving me crazy thoughts and crazy emotions—nothing like I have ever experienced before. In my head I knew what it felt like to want to kill myself. I used the patches but they had an even worse effect: I became super aggressive, ready to kill anyone who got in my way. I tried lessening the doses on the tablets but nothing changed me back to my pre-menopausal self. My GP thought I was just crazy in the head. Her comments were that HRT makes you feel good.

I have tried amongst others, progesterone cream, wild yam, macca and red clover, and nothing has worked. I had natural hormones prescribed and made up in a troche form by a compounding chemist. All they did was cost heaps and give me extremely painful breasts. The prescription I had been given was the lowest possible dosage of estrogen to be effective.

My big, big gripe with all of this is that no one in the established medical world seems to care. The drug companies want to lock you into taking their medication forever. The doctors push HRT medications onto patients as though everyone came off the same production line. I did not even think to have any testing done before menopause started to find out exactly what my hormone levels were. This should be considered by every pre-menopausal women over a long period of time to get accurate readings. No two women are the same, nor should they be given the same treatment. I am not the same as my sister. HRT works perfectly for her. I would like to think that somewhere there is a treatment that will work for me.

Always looking for answers,
Irene Morris
Melbourne, Australia
Jan 2006

 

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Updated  05/15/2010