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After reading other ladies’ stories I sort of feel a bit normal

I haven't felt right for months, years really

Thank goodness I've found this site!

I've spent the last couple of hours reading other ladies’ stories and I sort of feel a bit normal (if that's the right word) again! I haven't felt right for months, years really; In my head I've had heart failure, cancer of the tongue, mouth, bones, blood, mention just a few of my many ailments. I've almost considered getting a season ticket for the doctors.

On top of those, of course, I was going ever so slightly mad! (and according to my darling 18 year old son had become a royal pain in the butt… I'm quite flattered he used the word "royal") Shall I mention lazy too? Well, yes. I can't be bothered to do a damned thing! Why can't I sit in a chair all day and gawp into space, then? The dog doesn't really mind if he doesn't get walked again this week! And the dust and housework is still going to be there tomorrow. It's not going anywhere, so why rush?

And just watch out if someone catches me on one of my "black" days. And as for sex? What's that then? If I still had a memory then I would probably miss something rather beautiful that happened between my husband and I and gave us both joy and laughter. Hmm...anyway, bed's for sleeping; not that I've been doing much of that just lately. I tend to get the three o'clock itchies or creepies and then spend the rest of the night marching up and down, flapping a newspaper at the current hot flush! And can someone please, please tell me where my waistline has toddled off to?? Ye Gods! Nothing about me is normal at the moment at all. And I'm constantly having to apologise for being moody, miserable, tearful, tired, forgetful... But why the hell should I apologise? Did I mention irritable?

Anyway, getting back to the thank God I found this site bit. Tthe list of 35 symptoms finally made me realise that I am, regrettably menopausal. Now why did I say "regrettably"? Shouldn't I be rejoicing at the fact that I am all woman?

Shouldn't I be gleeful at the fact that Mother Nature has decided that I have done my bit for procreation, added to the human race and now after my endeavours she is going to chuck everything at me just so that I can prove my womanly attributes of stoicism, resilience and fortitude all over again?

Actually, I'm thrilled that I'm not really at death's door, just feel like it most days. It was the bit with the sore tongue and mouth that sealed it for me. For a couple of weeks I've been wailing on about my mouth, convinced I had a "nasty" growing somewhere, and that also I was just getting old and miserable! That's something else this menopause lark does to your head--it takes away your rational thinking. I've been having loads of symptoms over the last few years, but because I am menopausal, I didn't even consider that I was! I used to be vibrant and bouncy and full of energy. Now, if you don't mind, I'd rather watch other people being vibrant, bouncy and full of energy! Actually, I think I’ll just go and have a little nap.

But, things they are a-changing... Today I have made an appointment with a - goodness, can't remember - um, oh it's an alternative practitioner, er, not a herbalist, the other sort. Blast! Homeopath! Yes, that's the one. Apparently they can do wonders for women like me … us. I'll give it a go if I can be bothered, or not too tired, and maybe post an update here if it helps.

In the meantime, just a thought for you all: If they can put a man on the moon and create weapons of mass destruction, why, oh why, can't they sort us women out? We're not really that complex are we? Wonder what would happen if men had the menopause? Actually, perhaps a couple of well-known ones are menopausal! Now that would explain a lot of things...

My best wishes to you all.

Brentwood, UK


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Updated  05/15/2010