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POF and Menopause at 25

My advice: never put money first, seek a second opinion and discuss issues with family and friends. Someone always knows something.

I think as women we expect that we can and will have children. It is our right and purpose. We can chose when, with who, and how many. However, the more I talk to people, the more I learn that it is not easy to conceive a child. Has this always been the way or has our society become more open to discussing these topics?

I starting going through early menopause at the age of 25. My husband told me to go to my doctor as he was getting increasingly worried about my mood swings and other general changes. Whilst waiting for my doctor, I filled out a questionnaire on menopause and was quite concerned when I ticked the majority of boxes that pertained to the symptoms of menopause. I showed my doctor, but she did not think it was something to worry about. I was young and healthy after all. She put my symptoms down to my stressful job and working long hours and thought that my lack of libido was due to my husband and I having relationship problems!

Two weeks later I was seeing a fertility specialist who recommended IVF (in vitro fertilization) if we wanted a family. She said we could probably leave it for a year but not too much longer. After a year of waiting, we sought a second opinion and began the rollercoaster ride: "Yes, we can get you pregnant." "No, we cannot get you pregnant." Menopause confirmed and being told that I needed to start HRT. Put our names on the egg donation list and ask family and friends about the possibility of egg donation. Look into adoption.

Of all of this, I feel enormous guilt for not being able to give my husband children, grief and loss for myself. I'm also angry at myself for delaying for that year because I was worried about the expense of IVF, waiting for my private health cover to kick in (12-month waiting period before maternity is covered) and the fact that I wanted to be a little bit more financially secure for our children.

I have Primary Raynauds, an autoimmune disorder, and possibly this may have triggered my condition. But I was diagnosed at age 19 and after a lifetime of symptoms, the link between autoimmune disease and infertility was never mentioned.

My advice: never put money first, seek a second opinion and discuss issues with family and friends. Someone always knows something. Do your own research as doctors cannot know everything.

Queensland, Australia
Dec 2005


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Updated  05/15/2010