Surgical menopause and adhesions
|I am not able
to cope after surgeries and hysterectomy. But getting more estrogen
I had a C-section 5 1/2 years ago, and uterus removed in 2003. Early
in 2006 I had so much pain in the lower abdomen that I thought the worst
and we started looking into causes. ADHESIONS and scar tissue, and my
ovaries were not looking good so I made a date with for surgery. September
11th I had another C section and was cleaned up from serious adhesions
and funky ovaries.
I did not do any real research into surgical menopause. I wanted to tackle
whatever came without any preconceived idea as to how it might be for
Let's see, I've had my first real crying jag 3 weeks after my surgery.
I have a sort of bodily rage. I have a five year old daughter who I simply
adore and love to spend time with and now, well (growl)… I am not
able to concentrate much. I don't want to talk to anyone… not good
since I am a mental health therapist with my own small private practice.
I am second guessing EVERY **** thing I do - or don't do - or did do a
long time ago. The depth of the sadness and feelings of loss I am not
able to describe.
About 4 days ago I was prescribed 1/2 the regular dose of Premarin. I
can't really tell if it's helped or not except for an increase in alfalfa
cravings and an interest in trolling the internet for stud services. (Please
laugh, PLEASE! I'm trying so hard to find a way through this).
I trust my doctor. I am trying to find a way through this so I don't screw
up everything I have. I plan on getting in touch with my endocrinologist
this coming week. I am not able to cope in any way except for giving in
to what I feel. (I DO NOT LIKE THAT!).
If you are reading this I hope that you are trying to find a way through
this as well. I will be happy to write an update from my visit with the
endocrinologist (if it helps). I have tried to self study this stuff and
there is just SO MUCH that it's completely overwhelming.
Trying to tie a knot in the rope to hang on---
November 3, 2006 update
My endocrinologist did contact me and the first thing she said was, "I
am so sorry you are feeling this way." Then she proceeded to tell
me that my body screaming for estrogen and that I needed to adjust the
It is difficult to describe how I felt during the time my body was needing
more. Have you seen a tuning fork vibrate? I felt lthat there was a sort
of vibration or 'hum' in me that started about the same time I began getting
incredibly irritated or full of rage. I added another .3 Premarin and
almost immediately the 'hum' went away.
However, the emotional issues of wanting to hide under a rock and not
talk to people still persisted. Even with the additional estrogen I wanted
to wade into a nearby mountain river, get out the other side and just
lie down, just give up because this was/is so debilitating for me. That
was October 19th. With the love and support of family and friends I made
it to my doctor for an additional follow up. That office is SO SUPPORTIVE.
I had all my concerns listened to and have the OK to listen to my body
and respond accordingly with the Premarin. NICE.
It's now November 3rd. The waves of despair and confusion have ebbed somewhat.
I haven't tried to put milk in the cupboard for about 2 weeks (smile).
When I look in the mirror I am recognizing more of myself. I am acknowledging
physical and emotional limits to try and manage the strong feelings that
come with this adjustment.
IF ANYTHING GOOD has come out of this it would be that I am now even more
sensitive to the relationship between women's mental health and hormones.
I am not 100% YET. It has taken me a serious amount of courage to talk
to people/professionals about this. I am glad I have done that. I hope
that you can find strength in my story. I hope that this spurs you on
in the quest of bettering your health after all you've been through.
For more information about hysterectomy:
- HERS Foundation (Hysterectomy Educational Resources
& Services) is an independent, nonprofit women's health education
organization providing accurate information about hysterectomy, its
adverse effects and alternative treatments.
Awareness, a website dedicated to raising awareness about hysterectomy
as well as providing support and resources about the subject.
Uteri, a forum for the discussion of the physical and emotional
challenges that can be caused by hysterectomy.
- Hystersisters, a woman
to woman support website for hysterectomy recovery. This group offers
resources and kindness so that visitors can discover options and make
decisions for themselves.