Association of Women for the Advancement of Research and Education Today is
 
ProjectAWARE logo

           
You are here:  Home > Experience > Personal Stories > Surgical Menopause    Tell a Friend about Us

 

 

Surgical menopause and adhesions

I am not able to cope after surgeries and hysterectomy. But getting more estrogen has helped.

I had a C-section 5 1/2 years ago, and uterus removed in 2003. Early in 2006 I had so much pain in the lower abdomen that I thought the worst and we started looking into causes. ADHESIONS and scar tissue, and my ovaries were not looking good so I made a date with for surgery. September 11th I had another C section and was cleaned up from serious adhesions and funky ovaries.

I did not do any real research into surgical menopause. I wanted to tackle whatever came without any preconceived idea as to how it might be for me.

Oh my!!!!!

Let's see, I've had my first real crying jag 3 weeks after my surgery. I have a sort of bodily rage. I have a five year old daughter who I simply adore and love to spend time with and now, well (growl)… I am not able to concentrate much. I don't want to talk to anyone… not good since I am a mental health therapist with my own small private practice. I am second guessing EVERY **** thing I do - or don't do - or did do a long time ago. The depth of the sadness and feelings of loss I am not able to describe.

About 4 days ago I was prescribed 1/2 the regular dose of Premarin. I can't really tell if it's helped or not except for an increase in alfalfa cravings and an interest in trolling the internet for stud services. (Please laugh, PLEASE! I'm trying so hard to find a way through this).

I trust my doctor. I am trying to find a way through this so I don't screw up everything I have. I plan on getting in touch with my endocrinologist this coming week. I am not able to cope in any way except for giving in to what I feel. (I DO NOT LIKE THAT!).

If you are reading this I hope that you are trying to find a way through this as well. I will be happy to write an update from my visit with the endocrinologist (if it helps). I have tried to self study this stuff and there is just SO MUCH that it's completely overwhelming.

Trying to tie a knot in the rope to hang on---

November 3, 2006 update

My endocrinologist did contact me and the first thing she said was, "I am so sorry you are feeling this way." Then she proceeded to tell me that my body screaming for estrogen and that I needed to adjust the dosage.

It is difficult to describe how I felt during the time my body was needing more. Have you seen a tuning fork vibrate? I felt lthat there was a sort of vibration or 'hum' in me that started about the same time I began getting incredibly irritated or full of rage. I added another .3 Premarin and almost immediately the 'hum' went away.

However, the emotional issues of wanting to hide under a rock and not talk to people still persisted. Even with the additional estrogen I wanted to wade into a nearby mountain river, get out the other side and just lie down, just give up because this was/is so debilitating for me. That was October 19th. With the love and support of family and friends I made it to my doctor for an additional follow up. That office is SO SUPPORTIVE. I had all my concerns listened to and have the OK to listen to my body and respond accordingly with the Premarin. NICE.

It's now November 3rd. The waves of despair and confusion have ebbed somewhat. I haven't tried to put milk in the cupboard for about 2 weeks (smile). When I look in the mirror I am recognizing more of myself. I am acknowledging physical and emotional limits to try and manage the strong feelings that come with this adjustment.

IF ANYTHING GOOD has come out of this it would be that I am now even more sensitive to the relationship between women's mental health and hormones. I am not 100% YET. It has taken me a serious amount of courage to talk to people/professionals about this. I am glad I have done that. I hope that you can find strength in my story. I hope that this spurs you on in the quest of bettering your health after all you've been through.

Tina Borcher
wildwyogal@yahoo.com

 

For more information about hysterectomy:

  • HERS Foundation (Hysterectomy Educational Resources & Services) is an independent, nonprofit women's health education organization providing accurate information about hysterectomy, its adverse effects and alternative treatments.
  • Hysterectomy Awareness, a website dedicated to raising awareness about hysterectomy as well as providing support and resources about the subject.
  • Sans Uteri, a forum for the discussion of the physical and emotional challenges that can be caused by hysterectomy.
  • Hystersisters, a woman to woman support website for hysterectomy recovery. This group offers resources and kindness so that visitors can discover options and make decisions for themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

More stories 
Share your story? 

 

top of page

Updated  05/15/2010